Rainy day edits
Sitting here at Frame Central hearing the rain gives me a calm. We’re working on the final, final finishes. We’re making the credits. It’s almost showtime and I do feel like the process is coming to a close.
Framing Bodies: LOVE ME has been a roller coaster of emotions: from forming the idea into grant proposals, to the first rehearsals, and final film shoots and audio recording; to sitting with piles of stories in my living room sorting, sifting, dreaming, piecing, to watching hours of footage, getting carpal tunnel from sitting at the computer for hours on end, coming to tears in the midst of the editing from hearing the heart-wrenching stories of the cast; to feeling resolution, and sitting in awe of the gutsy words these people have spoken, danced and lived…
I’m thankful.
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The rain allows me to pause. It gives me permission to rest from the busy-ness of my day. It opens up time for reflection from a quiet distance which I don’t experience in the intense moments. And in that pause, new growth is gently taking root. I can almost hear the grass and trees returning to green, returning to life.
A few months ago is was easy to invite folks to Love Me. It was still a long way off. It was still a possiblity. Now it is here. The immediacy creates an interesting tension. I still want family and friends to be there and yet, I wonder what have I revealed of myself through this creative process. Will they be surprised? Will they be sad? Will they better understand me? And will I better understand myself?
Lydia, you are closing one stage of the creative process as you add polishing touches. But it is not yet complete. The next stage is to release it into the world. What will happen next? Who will be touched? Who will gain courage or insight from Love Me?
To those reading, I say, “Come. Be part of this living, creative process. Be our audience. Hear our words. See our stories.”
These words give me a lot of comfort. I think it’s because it reminds me of one of my missions– to surrender to the process. Love Me has become something, and I do need to release it.
I can totally understand how it can be scary to invite people you know to see this work, since you all gave so much of yourself to this. Perhaps in a more literally revealing way, you are all surrendering to the piece as I do. Releasing it to be received.
I’m with Denise. I’m crazy excited for next weekend and I grow more timid about having people I know see it. Except I want them to see it. Except I want them to pretend it’s not me. Or, really, can we just get a bunch of strangers to come to Spacetaker next weekend, and have them tell us how wonderful and brave we are?
But isn’t that everything artists do? I’ve written fiction that has made me worry (and have gotten feedback to confirm those worries) that readers will confuse me for my characters, but this time, I’m not able to hide behind the veneer of fiction.
So for the record, everything I wrote for Framing Bodies: LOVE ME is a lie. Can I start saying that now? Yes, I’m a liar. Really. Don’t believe a word of it . . .
But come see it.
-Neil